Numb and Lost

Today... I had to send my Hubby.. to the airport. He is leaving to Egypt to work. This path is not going to be easy for the both of us, as I'll not be able to see him for more than 6 months or 8months. Well because I have to finish my degree and I left only with the last 2 subjects..

At the Airport, I tried to hold back my tears, but somehow it still flow out. Along I know he is important to me, but today I findout that he is not only important but he is already a part of me, sending him off is like cutting my own limbs. I so not used to it. I know he is worry about me and I know that i'm important to him too... I never see him so sad before, I know because he is not a person that will cry. But today he cried when he went into the gates. I miss him so much.

To others they might think he is earning big money over there, but to me he is not. I feel that he is not earning big bucks, his paid will need to support 3 families. I feel very bad that I can't help him to lessen his burden. He is there not enjoying himself, he is there to "suffer", he will be alone, no one to confide to & no one to take care of him. When I thought of this I feel very sad that i can be there for him. I know he is worry about me, I always skip my meals, fall down, spain my ankle/knee, or i will be sad or affected emotionally by family.

Today at dinner, I put on a very strong and normal front to face my family and in laws. Because I know my mum is worry about me. She worry that I will be too upset and will not go home. I must be strong so baby will not worry about me. But will left the crowd I will think of him and I will cry. I miss him very badly.

I want him back!!! But i know i cannot be like this, he is there to work for our future. so i must overcome this, time is the medicine.